actually, I'm a sock model
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
