READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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