oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
even my farts smell like vagina
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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