I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize