Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
