did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
