I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
