with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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