i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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