i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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