I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
