He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
