i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
