did you get engaged???
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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