butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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