How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Im part way to drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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