Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
