just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
