You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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