I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In America we eat man semen.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
