I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Drunk is a universal language darling
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
