Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
