you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Randomize
