I feel like abortions should bother me more
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
