So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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