just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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