Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The uberlube is also flammable
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
