I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
