How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
