Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
3 2 1 whiskey
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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