i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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