you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
