A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
