Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize