Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
