Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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