God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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