i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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