The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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