unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
