You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
