i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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