chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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