i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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