So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
