Dude my mom stole all your condoms
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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