the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
