They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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