Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Green mimosas i think yes
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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