Will you blow on my dice?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize