you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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