They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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