No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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