We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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