actually, I'm a sock model
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have aggressive nipples.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
