Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
