so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
