You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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