GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
