Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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